Emotional Roller Coaster

Anybody else tired of riding the emotional roller coaster caused by living with an alcoholic?  I know I am.   I have gone from trying to “detach with love” from my son’s disease to controlling his drinking again.  He’s been sober for 3 days after going on another binge, missing work to go off with friends.  I told him this was absolutely the last chance if he wants to stay living with me.   When he said he wanted to walk home from work this morning instead of me picking him up, I knew he would stop and get beer and I was right.  I checked his backpack when he got in a found 4 tall boy Steel Reserves.  I poured them down the kitchen drain.  I have been making him go to AA meetings, but I know his heart is not in it.  It’s just a matter of time before I am faced with the decision once again of putting him out on the street.  I pray and pray for him to stay sober, but my prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears.  Sorry God.  I pray for someone in AA to take him under their wing and help him find sobriety.  I pray that I won’t be forced to put my only child out to live on the streets with the other homeless.  In reality, I know this may be the only thing that helps him in the long run, but I don’t know if I have the strength to carry through.  It would be easier to put him out if he were verbally abusive or a danger to me.  But he is only a danger to himself when drinking.  My greatest desire is for him to one day have a life and family of his own, but that will never happen as long as he is drinking.  He goes from job to job and has no real friends.  I really hate this stupid disease and what it is doing to my handsome, smart son.  Please stop this ride, I want to get off!!!