A Wink From God!

This post doesn’t really have anything to do with alcoholism, other than the fact that I was praying for my alcoholic son when God winked at me. No, of course I didn’t actually see God wink; but for lack of a better term that’s what I call it. Let me explain.

I have Christmas lights around the balcony of my apartment that are plugged into a timer/sensor. This sensor turns the lights on at dark and turns them off 6 hours later. Since my son entered the alcohol recovery program at The Way, I have tried to make it a habit of going into his bedroom in the morning, kneeling by his bed, and praying for him. Some mornings I get busy and forget, but I always pray for him later in the day. This morning I did take the time to pray in his bedroom. It was 6:45 in the morning and the sun had already risen. His bedroom window looks out on the balcony, and as I prayed for him all of a sudden the Christmas lights on the balcony turned on. I stared at them in amazement. I felt in my spirit that God was using the lights to tell me that He hears my prayers for my son and that He has everything under control.  As I left my son’s bedroom and returned to the living room, the Christmas lights turned off again.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.

I remember when my late husband was still alive, during his drinking days, God used two geese flying over my house every morning as I left for work to give me hope.   Hope that my husband would one day become sober and stay sober; hope that my marriage would get better, which both eventually happened.  It’s these occasional winks from God that increase my faith and keep me going.  Thanks, God!

Being Your Own Worst Enemy

My late husband was given this cartoon by his counselor during his last stay at a treatment center. I found it the other day when going through a drawer.  It got me to thinking about what it means “to be our own worst enemy.”

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “enemy” as:

1. someone who hates another : someone who attacks or tries to harm another.  If you are your own worst enemy, you act in a way that causes harm to yourself or to the people or things that you care about.
2. something that harms or threatens someone or something
3. a group of people (such as a nation) against whom another group is fighting a war —usually singular

Definition 1 tells us what is means to be our own worst enemy.  Alcoholics & addicts seem to be the worst enemies to themselves, but anyone can be their worst enemy in one area such as, say, dieting, and not in other areas.  When people are their own worst enemy, they consistently sabotage and alienate anything good in their life… jobs, spouses,  family, self-respect, health, and happiness.  I think alcoholics self-destruct because they don’t feel worthy of receiving good in their lives.  They live for the daily drink and can’t really see any future beyond that.

I know my young adult son is a product of a generation that has so many means of escaping from reality… video games, computer games, the internet, easy access to pornography 24/7.  Add alcohol and drugs as a further means of escape, and you have a generation that is totally out of touch with the real world and how to successfully live in it.  When an alcoholic finds sobriety, then they can learn to love themselves and, instead of being their own worst enemy, they can instead be their own best friend.

Alcoholic Son Getting Help -- Finally!

I am so thankful on this Thanksgiving Day that my 26-yr-old alcoholic son is in a men’s Christ-centered recovery center!  I took him on Monday to start a 6-12 month program at The Way Inc.

My son had been living with me for the past year.  We even moved to another apt in Sept so he could continue to stay with me.  After he quit his 3rd job in that year due to drinking, I told him he had until Jan 14 to get some help or find another place to live.  He found The Way on the internet and sent in an application.  They had openings, so we met with the director and he was accepted.  The fee for the first 30 days is $1000, which I didn’t have.  I put out a plea with all of my son’s immediate family members for them to invest in his recovery and they came through with flying colors.  I am very thankful for caring, generous family.  Where God guides, He also provides!

I know the process of recovery is going to be hard for my son.  He has never been one to talk about his feelings and will have to learn to open up and share the things that are keeping him from being able to “do life” successfully.  Hopefully, he will learn to fill his God-shaped hole with God instead of with alcohol and drugs.  I will have no contact with him for 30 days, but get to see him again right before Christmas.  I can’t wait to meet the man that God created him to be without the influence of alcohol.

He started drinking in high school, flunked out of college his first semester, and has quit numerous jobs since then.  I have had to watch my handsome, intelligent, funny son totally waste his life because of alcoholism.  He is not what people call a “functioning” alcoholic.  That is good in a way because it has forced him to seek help earlier in life.  My main prayer the past few months has been “God, please don’t force me to put my only child on the streets.  I don’t think I could bear that.  Please don’t let his bottom be jails, institutions or death.  Please make a way for him to get Christian help!”

Thankfully, God opened a door for my son at The Way Inc.  My son chose to walk through that door.  Whatever happens from here is in God’s hands.  I’ve not been taking his being gone as well as I thought I would.  I seem to be on edge… fears trying to get the best of me.  Fear that my son will walk away from this when the going gets real tough.  He has always been a quitter… he has quit everything he ever started… college, jobs, walked away from Army basic training (twice) and ended up with an Other Than Honorable Discharge, recovery program at the Downtown Rescue Mission 2 years ago.  I made sure he understood before going through this door that if he left or was asked to leave before he graduated the program, that my door was not open to him… that he was on his own.  He said he understood.  But he has loser friends that would come get him, if he called and asked them to.  So I’ve got to turn these fears over to God daily and trust that He’s got everything under control.

Now that I am alone again with my 2 cats, it’s time to work on me and the issues in my life that keep me from progressing in my own Christian walk.  Maybe I can work up the courage to attend Al-Anon meetings and Celebrate Recovery meetings, so that I too can grow and be better support for my son when he graduates from The Way.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Anonymous Alcoholic!

Sins of the Mother (or Father)

I just finished watching a Lifetime movie called Sins of the Mother.  Graduate student Shay Hunter (Nicole Beharie) reaches a crossroads in her life when she finds herself broke, burned out and unable to cope with the stress of school. With nowhere else to go, she embarks on a journey home to Tacoma, Washington, to face her abusive, alcoholic, estranged mother, Nona (Jill Scott). When she returns home, Shay finds Nona living life as a recovered alcoholic, with a new daughter and completely transformed. Thrown by her mother’s new path, Shay must now accept Nona’s changes and influences, including her sponsor, Lois (Rogers) — all forcing Shay to move past her pent-up anger and awaken her own relationships.

It was a great movie, a real tear-jerker.  I sat here wishing my son was watching it with me.  I remembered how my late husband’s 2 daughters severed their relationship with him after one particularly nasty night of drinking during which he spit on them and really scared them.  It took several years of sobriety before they started trusting him again.  It was the same with the rest of his family.  The alcoholic actions of one or both parents has a tremendous affect on a child’s ability to trust; in themselves and in others.

The daughter in this movie had a very hard time accepting her mother’s apology.  She thought her mother should have to pay somehow for her terrible childhood, not realizing how much her mother had already paid for her alcoholic lifestyle.  She wanted to stay a victim, instead of rising above her childhood and forgiving her mother.  This movie did have a happy ending.  Too bad real life doesn’t always turn out like in the movies.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Anybody else tired of riding the emotional roller coaster caused by living with an alcoholic?  I know I am.   I have gone from trying to “detach with love” from my son’s disease to controlling his drinking again.  He’s been sober for 3 days after going on another binge, missing work to go off with friends.  I told him this was absolutely the last chance if he wants to stay living with me.   When he said he wanted to walk home from work this morning instead of me picking him up, I knew he would stop and get beer and I was right.  I checked his backpack when he got in a found 4 tall boy Steel Reserves.  I poured them down the kitchen drain.  I have been making him go to AA meetings, but I know his heart is not in it.  It’s just a matter of time before I am faced with the decision once again of putting him out on the street.  I pray and pray for him to stay sober, but my prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears.  Sorry God.  I pray for someone in AA to take him under their wing and help him find sobriety.  I pray that I won’t be forced to put my only child out to live on the streets with the other homeless.  In reality, I know this may be the only thing that helps him in the long run, but I don’t know if I have the strength to carry through.  It would be easier to put him out if he were verbally abusive or a danger to me.  But he is only a danger to himself when drinking.  My greatest desire is for him to one day have a life and family of his own, but that will never happen as long as he is drinking.  He goes from job to job and has no real friends.  I really hate this stupid disease and what it is doing to my handsome, smart son.  Please stop this ride, I want to get off!!!

Blackout in a Can

Four Loko Company Defends Caffeinated Booze

Student Illnesses at Party Blamed on Four Loko

Colleges Sound Warning on Four Loko

These are just a few of the news stories I found about the new 12% alcohol malt liquor type, high energy drink that has been my son’s drug of choice lately.  They have been called “blackout in a can” and “liquid crack.”  I haven’t tasted one of them myself, because I have already branded them as E-V-I-L.

These drinks are dangerous because of the high alcohol content to which they have added 150mg of caffeine.  Men’s Health Magazine answered the question in this article “What am I Doing to my Body When I Combine Booze and Caffeine?“  The Four Loko and Earthquake are made by the same company, Drink Four Brewing.  They both have 12% alcohol but the Earthquake does not have caffeine.  College kids are drinking the sweet flavored Four Loko and don’t realize how much alcohol they are getting until it’s too late.  I have seen what they do to my son and it’s not pretty.  When I took him to a treatment center earlier this year, he had been drinking Earthquakes and his BAC was .394 (which is critical).

Colleges are banning these E-V-I-L drinks and the manufacturer is being asked to stop sales until they can be studied by the FDA.  I hope they remove them from the shelves in my town before my son ODs on alcohol.

Is Alcoholism Genetic?

I’ve been thinking lately about whether alcoholism is really inherited or not. I found this article very interesting. Wouldn’t it be cool if scientists could find the exact gene that causes alcoholism and then find a cure for this awful disease?

(Ivanhoe Newswire) — A mutation found in a mouse gene may provide new insights into the genetic roots of alcoholism in humans.

The mutation, which researchers at the Ernest Gallo Clinic and Research Center and the University of California, San Francisco, have named Lightweight, is in the mouse version of a gene called unc-79. Previous studies in worms and flies have shown that unc-79 is associated with altered sensitivity to a variety of anesthetics, including alcohol. The mutant mice are more sensitive to alcohol than their normal, wild-type littermates, and voluntarily consume more alcohol than normal mice when offered the choice between alcohol and water. Lead author Dr. David Speca was quoted as saying that the name Lightweight refers to the observation that when unc-79 mutant mice were injected with high doses of alcohol “they were knocked out for far longer than normal mice.”

The function of unc-79 is not well understood, said Speca, but he noted that experiments by other researchers suggest it may interact with a particular neuron channel named NALCN to influence neuronal responses to alcohol. A neuron channel is a complex of proteins essential to nerve cell function.

Although this study did not demonstrate an interaction with this channel in Lightweight mice, Speca said that follow-up experiments in the roundworm Caenorhabditis elegans showed that the NALCN channel influences responses to alcohol, “suggesting that this response may be conserved from worms to mice to humans.”

Studies of human twins have suggested that there is a genetic component to alcoholism, but, according to Speca, it is likely that there are multiple genes that contribute to the disease, each with its own effect, making it difficult to identify any single cause. The question now, he said, is whether unc-79 and the NALCN neuron channel turn out to be associated with altered responses to alcohol in humans.

“Nobody has ever studied these genes in humans before,” noted Speca. “There’s a chance that it’s part of a new and relatively unexplored biochemical pathway that may tell us something about human susceptibility to alcoholism.”

SOURCE: PLoS Genetics, August 19, 2010.

Detaching with Love

This is my first post in a few weeks. My son and I moved to a different apartment complex at the end of August and then I had a bad cold for several days. The reason we moved was because of a misdemeanor theft of property my son had on his record from 8 years ago. He and some friends took a street name sign and got caught. The apt management wouldn’t let me renew my lease if he was going to live there. So instead of putting him on the street, I chose to move. Good codependent that I am, I disrupted my life once again for my alcoholic son. But the new apartment is a blessing and I thank God for leading me here. I have more room for less money and a huge balcony that I can grill on and I enjoy the big dogwood tree that shades it. The neighbors are very friendly, it’s close to everything, easier to access and not as many speed bumps (yeah!).

This week I have been trying to “detach with love” from my son’s disease. He up and quit his job at Kmart because they cut his schedule down to 2 days a week. At least that’s the story I got. He lasted over 4 months there (not a record, but close). They had been so good to him at first, even understanding that he was an alcoholic. He was getting alot of hours, but then he started going to work after having 2 or 3 drinks. I’m sure his performance suffered because, from what I observe, alcohol makes him dumb. My theory is that they were trying to get him to quit by cutting his hours. So now we are back to square one. But because he had a good check deposited on Monday, he has been drinking every day. Not getting very drunk, but drinking enough that I didn’t want to be around him.

So this week, except to tell him supper is ready, I have basically ignored him. I haven’t called during the day, left any notes, went through his room, or asked him any questions. I prayed the Serenity Prayer every day and asked God to help me stay out of the way and let Him work. In my mind I am coming to peace with whatever my son has to go through to get sober. I have to work on myself and be ready to go on with my life, no matter what happens with him. In return, I have not experienced those pesky stomach knots that are a symptom of worrying too much or the dread of finding him very sick or even dead. If I keep my mind set on the fact the God is in control of my son’s life, not me, then I can learn to detach with love from my son’s disease and live my life to the fullest.

Married to an Alcoholic

Now I admit, I did my share of drinking back in my 20s and early 30s.  But it was mostly just to party and socialize… I don’t remember ever CRAVING a drink of alcohol.  I had other weaknesses, but alcohol just wasn’t one of them.

I was 20 when I married for the first time… a big church wedding in the Baptist church I had grown up in.  Lynn and I went to the clubs and partied.  We had a son, Dale, in 1983.  During Dale’s first year of life, Lynn and I grew apart.  It was mostly because Lynn would go out drinking with his buddies and leave me at home with the baby.  Before Dale was a year old, we were separated.  We divorced 3 years later.

I first met my 2nd husband, David, in a treatment center in the summer of 1992.  He had been an active alcoholic since his early teens and that was his 2nd time in treatment.  Later, we went to some of the same AA meetings and started dating.   If I could have seen the future, I would have run for my life.   But that wasn’t God’s plan.  David’s sobriety lasted maybe 6 months after we married in Jan 1993.  We lived in an old, singlewide mobile home right next to my parents’ house.  I can’t remember exact years or months that events happened during those first 8 years.  I do remember that David’s worst month of the year was April for some reason.  He seemed to drink more and all the worst things happened in April.

David worked mostly in construction, drywall finishing was his specialty.  Before he fell off the wagon for the first time, he had gotten laid off from his job and started selling vacuum cleaners.  He was very charismatic when he was sober and did very well with the demonstration and selling the machines.  His supervisor took him to a conference in NC, where he persuaded David to drink with him.  Thus began a downward spiral for David into the pits of alcoholism that would continue until April 2001.

As the wife of an alcoholic, I was as sick as my husband; just in a different way. I was addicted to the alcoholic. I was seriously codependent. I thrived on trying to control his disease. Writing this blog has made me remember many of the alcoholic incidents that took place during David’s drinking binges.

Is a Relapse on the Horizon?

8/16/10 – Well, my son has been sober for almost 2 weeks now.   Thirteen days ago he got drunk in the morning, couldn’t go to work that afternoon, and called a local treatment center for help.  I drove him there, knowing that without insurance or a wad of cash up front, he would eventually be turned away.  But since he was reaching out for help, I took him.  He registered .249 on their breath test.  Wow!  He wasn’t staggering, but you could tell he was drunk.  He said he only drank 4 1/2 – 24 oz Earthquake lagers and had eaten something before we left.  Of course, since I didn’t have $4500 to get him admitted, he was sent away with a phone number for a state-funded place that has a waiting list.

He was scheduled to be off work the next two days, so I drove him to his grandparents’ house where there is no access to alcohol.  He could dry out for a couple of days before having to return to work on Friday evening.  He has been sober since then, but has been doing nothing recovery related.  I asked him what he was going to do different this time and he replied that he was going back to AA.    So far, no meetings.  I have been determined to not nag him about going, because it must be his decision and his choice.   He doesn’t drive, but he knows I would be more than happy to take him, if he only asked.

Thus brings up the question:  Is a relapse on the horizon?   I wish with all my heart that my son could just “grit it out” like his granddaddy said he did when he quit drinking years ago.  But I’ve started noticing little warning signs that concern me that another drunk is not far away.  Yesterday he didn’t shave before going to work, and this morning he had to be at work early.  I confronted him about the 2-day growth and whether he was going to shave.  I expressed my concerns that this was a warning sign to me that he was doing some stinking thinking.  When he stops caring about his personal hygiene, I know something is amiss.  Well, he did shave after I said something about it, but he didn’t want to.

I did a little research about alcohol relapse warning signs.  In a nutshell, I found there numerous warning signs that signal a relapse is likely.  I’ve listed some of them below and these are progressive.

1. Concern about well being / fear
2. Denial of the concern
3. Believing “I’ll never drink again”
4. Worrying about others instead of self
5. Defensiveness
6. Compulsive behavior
7. Impulsive behavior
8. Tendencies towards loneliness / isolation
9. Tunnel vision
10. Minor depression
11. Loss of constructive planning
12. Plans begin to fail
13. Daydreaming and wishful thinking
14. Feelings that nothing can be solved
15. Immature wish to be happy
16. Periods of confusion
17. Irritation with friends
18. Easily angered
19. Irregular eating habits
20. Lack of desire to take action
21. Irregular sleeping habits
22. Loss of daily structure
23. Periods of deep depression
24. Irregular attendance at AA and treatment meetings
25. Development of an “I don’t care” attitude
26. Open rejection of help
27. Dissatisfaction with life
28. Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness
29. Self pity
30. Thoughts of social drinking
31. Conscious lying
32. Complete loss of self confidence
33. Unreasonable resentment
34. Discontinuance of all treatment and AA
35. Overwhelming loneliness, frustration, anger and tension
36. Loss of behavioral control
37. Acute relapse episode

While this seems like it would take a while for the recovering alcoholic to transition through this long list of warning signs, in actuality it can happen within a matter of days.  When my son moved to live with me in the city, he left behind his old drinking friends and, since he doesn’t drive, it’s been hard for him to make new friends.  So unless he is at work, he isolates in his room on his computer. We get along pretty well when he is sober, but I don’t particularly like him when he’s drinking. He’s not a violent or obnoxious drunk and he’s never been threatening to me, but alcohol makes him slow and seemingly stupid even though he’s a very intelligent young man. I know that if he doesn’t get in some kind of recovery program, he will repeat the insanity again and again until something really bad happens.

Update 8/17/10: My son’s off day… had a nagging feeling all day while I was at work that he would be drinking. Resisted calling during day to check his voice for signs of intoxication. Keep telling myself it’s his life and there is nothing I can do or say that I haven’t already said before and I have no control nor do I want control. He’s ultimately only hurting himself. My life will go on. I continue to pray for God’s will, not mine, and whatever it takes is what is takes for my son. I also pray his alcoholic bottom is not death.

A Daily Reprieve - What Does It Mean to the Recovering Alcoholic?

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about the recovering alcoholic having a “daily reprieve.” What exactly does this mean?

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the word “reprieve” means:

1: to delay the punishment of (as a condemned prisoner)
2: to give relief or deliverance to for a time

“One day at a time” and “I don’t have to drink today” are popular sayings in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The Big Book of AA (pg, 85) says “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”

Both dictionary definitions of reprieve can be applied to the recovering alcoholic. When an alcoholic is actively drinking, he is the same as a condemned prisoner–condemned to a life of jails, institutions, or even death. When the alcoholic finally gets into recovery and learns that he doesn’t have to drink today, he is given a reprieve. The punishment to his body, to his self-esteem, and to his loved ones is delayed as long as the alcoholic stays sober. The recovering alcoholic is given relief or deliverance to for a time from the effects of his alcoholism.

Notice that the Big Book of AA places a contingency on the daily reprieve. For the recovering alcoholic to get a daily reprieve, he must first maintain his spiritual condition on a daily basis. This means that the recovering alcoholic must communicate with his Higher Power, or God, daily and ask for help to stay sober that day. The alcoholic must then allow his actions to be led by God and not indulge his self will.

As the daily reprieves add up, the recovering alcoholic will notice his mind becoming clearer, his health improving, his relationships getting better, and his self-esteem increasing. The recovering alcoholic will learn how to live life on life’s terms without alcohol–one day at a time.

Divine Healing from Alcoholism!

The story you are about to read is true. It is the story of a man who suffered with the disease of alcoholism until he was 44 years old. It is also a story about the power of prayer and faith that God’s Word is true and how one Christian alcoholic was healed of alcoholism by practicing James 5:14-16.

I can only tell this story in second-person, but I was David’s wife for the last 9 years that he actively drank alcohol and for the 5 years that he was sober. This story is not about me; I am just the vessel that God has chosen to tell it. I will try not to be too long, but it’s hard to know what details to include and what to leave out. I know that David would want this story to be told, if it helps other alcoholics.

All I can really say about those first 9 drinking years, is that for the most part it was hell. David has been a practicing alcoholic since his early teens. He was divorced and had 2 daughters when I met him. We actually met for the very first time at a treatment center. He was in his last couple of days of alcohol detox (2nd time) and I was just beginning my treatment for cocaine addiction. Later we met again at AA meetings and eventually married. David’s sobriety didn’t last long, thus beginning numerous cycles of hard drinking with brief periods of sobriety. I won’t go into a lot of details except to say the hard drinking periods resulted in 2 trips to jail for domestic violence while he was in blackouts, ending with a felony DUI and a 3rd trip to the same treatment center.

After David’s 2nd domestic violence arrest, we started attending church and made some close friends, David stayed sober. Life was good, but it wasn’t to last. David and I had both been raised in Christian homes, so we knew and believed in Jesus Christ.

Just to clarify, when I say “Christian,” I am referring to a person who at one point in life admitted being a sinner, confessed those sins, and asked Jesus Christ to come into their heart and be Lord and Savior of their life. Faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved.

The first church that we attended ended up splitting, because there was a conspiracy to oust the pastor. We left the church and did not go anywhere else for over a year. David once again fell off the wagon. Some of our closest friends had started going to another church in the area, so I went there by myself. David would attend services with me on the rare occasion, and people from the church would come out and visit us. There were some awesome prayer warriors at that church. They prayed often for David and for our family. David would try to stay sober, but he just couldn’t do it. No matter how hard he tried, he eventually went back to the bottle. He would try to hide how much he was drinking, but I always found the evidence.

Things got very bad in early 2001. Under the guise of helping an older man that used to live across the street and had some health issues, he was actually drinking with him. This man had been sober for a few years, but David enticed him to drink again. They became whiskey buddies. One fateful day, David said he was leaving for work but instead went to the liquor store, He ended up at his buddy’s house and had to call the man an ambulance because his buddy though he was having a heart attack. When David tried to leave, he bumped the ambulance with his big car. The EMTs called the police, who arrested David in our driveway. I had come home for lunch and witnessed the whole thing. I didn’t do anything to stop him from being arrested, because he was staggering drunk already and it was only noon. I wanted him to go to jail.

He went to jail for what was actually his 5th DUI, making it a felony. After spending the night in jail, he told me how he laid on the cold cell floor and prayed for Jesus to forgive him and to help him stay sober. He maintained his sobriety for only a couple of months, then it was right back to the hard drinking like before the DUI. One day I came home for lunch, and could tell right away he was in a blackout by the look in his eyes and the way he talked. My son was at school, so I had my mother pick him up and take him to her house. I left and didn’t go home after work.

Some may wonder why I stayed married to David through all the insanity. Well, during the really bad periods, I was clinging to God to get me through. I kept hearing in my spirit to just hang in there because God was going to do a miracle in David’s life. I didn’t want to miss the miracle, since I had already put up with so much. I prayed for a forgiving spirit and God gave me one.

Later that night, I did go home not knowing what to expect. David had sobered up some and was contrite as usual. But I, for one, had reached my limit. I told him that if he didn’t go back to treatment, I was done with our marriage. He allowed me to take him to the treatment center, but they had no beds available. He was able to return to treatment the next night, where he spent 7 days detoxing. That night he went into treatment for the 3rd time was actually his sobriety date, because he didn’t take another drink after that. But he still craved alcohol.

During his periods of sobriety, we had attended church together. We made a lot of close friends our age who were living true Christian lives. After David’s treatment, the men took David under their wings and discipled him. We attended Bible studies together and were becoming stronger Christians. We studied the book of James and learned about James 5:14-16.

14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

David still struggled with a desire to drink. One Wednesday night, David asked some of the men in our church to come into the prayer room with him, anoint him with oil and pray for deliverance from his craving for alcohol. I don’t know how many men actually prayed over David that night. David did say that when one particular friend touched and prayed over him, that he felt like electricity go through his body and felt the Holy Spirit. What I do know is that from that moment on, David never craved alcohol.

David told me that the moment he knew he was really healed, was the first time we went back to the river. That had always been a big drinking trigger for him. But this time, he didn’t even think about it until afterwards. David wasn’t sure if he was a Christian, so he gave his life to Christ and was baptized in our friends’ swimming pool by his Christian friends. He became involved with Alcoholics for Christ. We began working in the church and even served as youth ministers for a couple of years. God led us to a different church to help with the Celebrate Recovery ministry there.

As for David’s felony DUI, I saw God do many miracles during the time the case was going to trial, and afterwards in the sentencing. Our Christian friends really showed their support by coming to court dates with David and writing letters of support to the judge. Everyone had witnessed the divine change in David. He was so excited about his salvation and his deliverance, people couldn’t help but be drawn to him. David ended up doing 6 days of a 10 day sentence, reduced from a possible year in prison. He had to pay a large fine, but only lost his drivers license for 90 days, instead of 5 years.

David continued to love and serve Jesus until God called him home in October 2006. I tell you his story so that you will understand something important. If you are a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ, then the words in James 5:14-16 are for you.

David was just a regular country boy who loved his family, Tennessee Vols football, NASCAR, wrestling, drywall finishing, and drinking alcohol. His father died from complications of alcoholism, and David was headed down the very same path. What made the difference was David’s faith in God’s word and his willingness to put God’s words into action.

I don’t know why David got healed and others don’t. God is God and I’m not. I just know that putting into practice James 5:14-16 enabled David to live the last 5 years of his life sober. All David ever really wanted in life was to be respected. He finally found that through sobriety. I am witness to that fact.

Thanks for staying with me for so long. My point of this long article is to say to the Christian alcoholic who still craves that there is hope for you. If you have some men in your life who have a close relationship with Jesus, ask them if they would be willing to practice James 5:14-16 on you. Believe that Jesus wants to set you free from the disease of alcoholism and accept God’s gift of healing. What do you have to lose?

Why I Hate Alcoholism!

Hello!  This is my first blog on The Anonymous Alcoholic and let me tell you straight up… I hate alcoholism!  After being married to an active alcoholic for 8 years who found sobriety 5 years before his death in 2006, and now living with my 26-yr-old son who is an alcoholic, I am sick of this disease.

Alcoholism destroys not only a person’s mind and body, but also their self-esteem, self-respect, and their families as well.  This disease causes people to lie, cheat, and steal to support their need to drink alcohol.   The alcohol itself affects different alcoholics in different ways.  My first husband was a quiet drunk, just happy go lucky.  My second husband was an annoying, in-your-face, didn’t give a shit, talk talk talk kind of drunk.  He only got violent if he went into a blackout, which just happened a couple of times while we were married.  My son is a sit in his room, play video games, and silently drink himself to death kind of drunk.  But I can tell immediately if he’s had any alcohol just by the look on his face and the way he speaks.

I see this disease trying to take over my handsome, smart, funny son’s life and I am powerless to do anything about it.  Oh, sure, I can try to control his drinking for him, and have on occasion.  But that is just prolonging the inevitable.  Unless God chooses to get a hold of him and heal him of this disease like he did my 2nd husband, it will take my son hitting rock bottom before he’s willing to accept help and stay sober.   That scares me.   That’s why I hate alcoholism…